OPEN RP.

[cryptofascist]

INBOX + OPEN POST

General Discovery content warnings: violence, death, grief, war, mass murder, genocide, internment, animal abuse, sexual assault (dubcon, noncon and grooming), brainwashing, torture (physical and psychological), PTSD, survivor's guilt, sci-fi racebending, subjugation, slavery, racism, quasi-cannibalism, xenophobia. And spoilers.

TEXT ACTION PROSE CONTINUATIONS

Comments

[hopefulnaive]

No, sir. [Annie shakes her head. She feels as though she ought to add some kind of information, since he did ask, but that would be easier if she'd been doing anything. Telling the truth feels like an excuse, feels like complaining, and Annie cannot allow herself either, but she also needs to be honest with him. Probably he's glanced at the reports, both verbal and medical, to know that she's been given several days medical leave from all duties, though it's possible he's received no further medical information. Only the chief medical officer can overrule the captain, after all, and medical records are confidential even to the captain unless they're directly relevant.] They say I'm ... in shock.

[Even that much feels like an excuse, but it's all she has to offer. It's not like she thinks they're wrong, after all, given her newly developed tendency to stand in an elevator for an hour or three at a time. But it's weakness. She ought to be better than this. She feels like she's letting her captain and crew down because she's too fragile to just shake it off. It's not like it's a real injury. People died. She's got some bruises and 'shock'. She should have been better on that ship, so that those people would still be alive, and she should be better now.

It helps, at least, to be here in front of Lorca. Even though she knows he won't give her any kind of special treatment or gentle handling, just being in his presence makes her feel better. It gives her something to focus on, because she always wants to please him. She always wants to be the best possible version of herself in order to earn his approval. And she knows he can rely on him. He was always a good captain, but now ...

He'd kept her alive. He'd protected her, in those awful, desperate times, and that trauma bonding was always going to be there at the back of her mind.

She'd respected him, before all of that. But he'd been distant and ... unexceptional, if she was being honest. Almost bland. A good captain, and ... she had nothing more to say about him. What had happened after had shown her a different side of him. Someone hard and determined to survive. She felt like he'd changed because of what they'd gone through--sometimes she thought that he'd changed before all of that, but it was probably only the distance. She hadn't know him well before. Before, he'd been no one to her. Now ... she was always going to trust him with her life. She was always going to be a tiny bit obsessed with him.

She blinks. Shakes her head. She's not sure how long she spaced out just now. Was that a couple of seconds worth of thoughts or more? Had he said something to her? Fuck this 'shock'. She feels broken, and that weakness enrages her.] I'm sorry, sir. How can I be of help?