I need to be. I want ownership of myself again. I want to choose. This is choosing.
( Maybe it's a strange way to choose since it means giving over all of her control to someone else and just floating away on that feeling but she trusts him and she doesn't trust the city or what they make her do. They took her choice from her so she's taking it back. )
[ A low, contemplative hum as he searches her gaze. Uncertainty or weakness wouldn't make him deny her. She claims this choice, therefore she claims this mistake, if that's what it turns out to be. ]
So it is. [ His touch vanishes as he drapes his arm over the back of the sofa behind her. ] Come closer, then.
[ When she complies, he strokes his hand over her hair. Combs the tips of his fingers through it as he drinks. ]
[ Lorca smirks. At the moment, he's just enjoying the freshly washed feel of her. Soft and clean. It banishes the sense memory of concrete and scratchy, low thread count cotton sheets. ]
I won't. [ She wants to be treated like nothing happened? That's what she'll get. ]
( Chapel had never been into pain - this kind of pain - before meeting Gabriel. All of her previous partners hadn't been enough in some way and she'd pulled away and ran but with him, she stays. He doesn't smother her in feelings and talk about where they're going. He just gives her hours of pain intertwined with pleasure where she can blank out her mind and just exist for a little while. )
I don't want you to stop. No matter what I say or do. I want you to judge whether or not I can take it.
[ Lorca takes a telling breath in through his nose. She is asking a lot of herself. Maybe he should pretend it's asking a lot of him too. Act like he doesn't want to push her, strain her, show her what she's capable of. What he's capable of.
It's reckless, to do it the way she wants. No signal, no safety measures. Another night, he'd insist. Tonight, he would, but he knows he'd go back on it at the first sting from his wounds. She made it so by throwing away her consent. ]
No matter if you cry. [ He confirms as he pulls gently on her hair, gaze darkening. ]
Not even if I cry or scream. I trust you not to kill me. That's the limit. I need to...I need to blank my mind and I can't do it if there's limits set on it. I can't do it if I know in the back of my head that I can get out of it. You just might have to sew me up afterward.
( Gabriel is good about that part, at least, and her scarring has been minimal so far. )
[ He nods. He's always good for that, and Christine doesn't seem to care that he lacks a surgeon's precision with a needle. She wears the marks he gives her without shame. ]
Finish your whiskey, then. And I'll show you just how much you can take.
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cryptofascist) wrote2023-08-07 04:42 pm
no subject
( Maybe it's a strange way to choose since it means giving over all of her control to someone else and just floating away on that feeling but she trusts him and she doesn't trust the city or what they make her do. They took her choice from her so she's taking it back. )
no subject
So it is. [ His touch vanishes as he drapes his arm over the back of the sofa behind her. ] Come closer, then.
[ When she complies, he strokes his hand over her hair. Combs the tips of his fingers through it as he drinks. ]
no subject
( Maybe if she keeps saying it to herself, it will be true, and in this moment she needs to hear herself say it out loud. )
You don't have to be gentle with me. Ever.
no subject
I won't. [ She wants to be treated like nothing happened? That's what she'll get. ]
no subject
I don't want you to stop. No matter what I say or do. I want you to judge whether or not I can take it.
no subject
It's reckless, to do it the way she wants. No signal, no safety measures. Another night, he'd insist. Tonight, he would, but he knows he'd go back on it at the first sting from his wounds. She made it so by throwing away her consent. ]
No matter if you cry. [ He confirms as he pulls gently on her hair, gaze darkening. ]
no subject
( Gabriel is good about that part, at least, and her scarring has been minimal so far. )
no subject
Finish your whiskey, then. And I'll show you just how much you can take.